Ode to Joy of the Netherlands: Eindhoven vs. Fortuna - When the "student" meets the dimensionality reduction blow of "student"

1. Team character: the grudges and hatreds of a "school master" and a "school bad student"

Eindhoven - the "three good students" of the Eredivisie, also known as "beating the professional household of the weak team":

Report card: This season, he won all five league games, scored 20 goals and conceded only 3 goals, and averaged 4 goals per game, which can be called the "Erics thermal generator". Last season, he won three rounds ahead of schedule, scoring 107 goals in 32 rounds, which was even stronger than Leverkusen. His offensive efficiency made the math teacher say, "This question is beyond the scope."

Nervous moves: Luke De Jong (formerly Barcelona veteran) has 27 goals and 15 assists in a single season, known as "The El Palais Thanos". With a slit of his hand, he can destroy his opponent's defense line.

Hidden attributes: When facing a weak team, you will have a "halo of wisdom reduction". The more your opponent is, the more exciting Eindhoven is.

Fortuna Sitad - "Buddhist Slack Learning" in Eredivisie, motto "Less Loss and Wins":

Report card: 2 wins and 3 losses in 5 rounds this season, scored 5 goals and conceded 9 goals, defensive efficiency is comparable to a "couple", home record is 1 win and 1 loss, and home advantage is about equal to a "psychological comfort prize".

Nervous Skills: A crushing defeat to Ajax 0-5 in the last round, unlocking achievements "beaten by the wealthy family", and morale has dropped to "lying flat mode".

Hidden attributes: When facing Eindhoven, he has a "bad constitution". He has 2 draws and 8 losses in the last 10 matches, which can be called a "Erics ATM" - he can give away goal difference to his opponent at any time.

Summary of one sentence: This is a unilateral knowledge crushing of "academic top" over "academic top", and it is also a fateful showdown between "Eric Thanos" and "coupling man".

2. Historical confrontation: A bloody and tears history of "small students are pressed to do the questions"

Review of classic famous scenes:

January 2023: Eindhoven swept Fortuna 3-0 away. After the game, Fortuna fans laughed at themselves: "We lost so much that we didn't even have a shorts left, but at least we were not double-digit!"

September 2024: During Eindhoven's five-game winning streak, he started with 4 goals per game, and Fortuna shivered : "I'm willing to hand in my homework with a slight abuse!"

Hidden plot: Fortuna's only highlight moment was the 2023 home draw of Eindhoven 2-2, but after the game fans complained: "This score is very similar to a big question in the exam for the poor student exam - it's purely an accident!"

Eindhoven's "Three Laws of Beating the Weak Team":

The Law of Conservation of Firepower: The weaker the opponent, the more goals (see the miracle of 107 goals last season).

The law of mentality expansion: After leading two goals, you must turn on the "dog walking mode", and the opponent cannot even touch the ball.

Metaphysical Law of Handicap: The institution initially gives 1.75 goals, but it goes up to 2 goals on the spot, which clearly states that "academic masters need to win points."

3. Tactical Analysis: When the "full-level number" encounters the "novice village mission"

Eindhoven's "Study Question Bank":

Offensive end: Luke Dejong + Simmons + Marduk forms the "Erethal Trident", with clear tactical goals - pass the ball into the opponent's goal, and practice shooting accuracy by the way.

Defensive end: Average 0.6 goals per game, but facing a "sluggish offensive" opponent like Fortuna, the goalkeeper can even work as a part-time "audience photographer".

Psychological Advantage: After losing to Juventus in the Champions League 1-3 in the middle of the week, I urgently need to find a soft persimmon to vent my anger. Fortuna: "Why is it always me who is injured?"

Fortuna's "Guide to Survival of Bad Slag":

Defensive Strategy: 5 defenders set up a bus, and the slogan is "Hold for 30 minutes to be considered a victory", but history has proved that this move is ineffective for Eindhoven - the opponent can even dismantle the bus and sell scrap iron.

Offensive Metaphysics: The main striker Sirges was reimbursed for the season, and the midfielder Ferrati was injured. The offense is expected to be the "water dispenser administrator" on the bench.

Spiritual victory method: Coach Danny Buis mobilizes before the game: "Losing within 3 is considered to win! Please eat French fries after the game!"

4. Winning and Loss Forecast: Is the "give points question" of the top student or the "counterattack day" of the poor student?

Institutional attitude:

Initial index Eindhoven gave 1.75 goals, and rose to 2 goals on the spot. The institution hinted wildly: "The academic master is going to hand in the full marks."

The European Index's away win odds are as low as 1.20, which is equivalent to telling you: "Buying Eindhoven wins is more stable than depositing the bank interest."

Poisonous milk warning:

Eindhoven's only risk: The Champions League consumes physical energy in the mid-week Champions League, but facing a "power bank" opponent like Fortuna, 90 minutes is enough to recover.

Futuna's only chance: Eindhoven goalkeeper suddenly had a "butter hands occupational disease", but the probability was lower than winning the lottery.

Score Idea:

Conservative version: 3-0 (Eindhoven easily clocked in and got off work).

Wild Edition: 5-1 (Luke Dejong made a hat trick, Fortuna regained her face with an own goal).

Metaphysical Edition: 2-2 (provided that Eindhoven sleepwalking and the referee comes with a "balance whistle" Buff) - the probability is about equal to Mars hitting the Earth.

5. Conclusion: "class solidification" and "counterattack fantasy" in the football world

When Eindhoven built a high wall with the gold-yuan football and youth training system, Fortuna could only survive by relying on the Buddhist mentality of "fewer and loser as a win". This game has nothing to do with suspense, it only concerns dignity -

Should the top students continue to score points, or should the poor students angrily tear the test papers?

The answer may be hidden in the slogan on the wall of the Futuna locker room:

"Losing is not scary, who is missing, who is embarrassed - anyway, what we lack is money!"

(This article is purely fiction. If there is any similarity, it must be Fotuna's goal missing again)

—END—

Easter egg: If Eindhoven wins a big victory after the game, it is recommended that Fotuna fans collectively purchase "Eredeceased Relegation Insurance" - after all, the next opponent may still be a wealthy family!